Dark Night of the Soul … Slave Planet Blues! … by Alice B. Clagett

Revised 9 July 2017; reposted from 7 July 2015 ... I’ve added an Outline, and comments on Martian bacterial colonists of the human ‘space station’ (the human body)

Dear Ones,

This is about a dark night of the Soul experience regarding blame, judgment, and ostracism. The dynamic of Ego, societal expectations, and our co-creative power.

Letting go, surrender. facing the void, nothingness, not knowingness. Developing the skills of personal transformation, sublimation, and faith in God.


  • On doing a heart clearing, and releasing sadness
  • On owning our emotions rather than blaming others
  • The ego depends on societal expectations for interaction with this reality, yet
  • The unlimited co-creative power of reality is our birthright, although often unmanifested.
  • The demands of society:
    • That we not speak our truth,
    • That we not live the mission of our Souls,
    • That we not feel our heart energy.
  • On being blamed and judged by other people
  • The notion that other people are to blame for our sexual feelings … projective blame
  • On sensing and mastering the kundalini energy (the central vertical power line or hara line) and the energies of the chakras
    • Then we realize that the energy of the sexual chakra is part of a cascade of energies that allows us to realize our greatness as human beings
    • When realize this, we set aside the societal notions of the energy of the second chakra.
    • Instead, we have the notion that the sexual energy is part of the outpouring of creative impulse as form in the world.
  • For many, sexual energy is confined to a societal tableau in which one can express only through procreation with a person of opposite gender.
  • Encapsulating that energy is a repressive societal energy which pushes the sexual energy down through the taboos regarding alternate lifestyles.
  • Beyond that veil of repressive energy is the infinite co-creative potential of people.
  • To release this potential, first we have to let go the judgment around what we term sexuality.
    • This need not be reflected in behavior, but in our minds we need to let go the cage of that thinking … that societal expectation. This understanding is the core of my blogs on sacred sexuality.
  • Last night I had a vision to do with all this:
    • I imagined I was in an alternate world where there was no free will.
    • I imagined I was being judged by a tribunal of people who all said that I had no Soul … that I was a bioengineered human-looking program that was intended to destroy the entire world … to take human beings off-planet to a slave planet where they would not be able to awaken. And that millions of people had been transported through me off-world for that reason. That I was not really the commander of this ‘space station’ (my body). Rather, the commander of this space station was talking to me and claiming that he was the one who was supposed to have control. But I, a bio-engineered product, had stepped out … somehow cottoned to the notion that there is free will, and breaking the bonds of servitude, begun to function with the notion that I could control my own destiny.
      • Now, that’s judgment!
      • And that’s a world where every being can experience the third chakra negative (negative will power) bigtime … Power over, powerlessness … a Slave Planet!
    • Today, while making the video, I heard my gut brain … the neurons in my colon … saying: I am a servant to ____. The food that comes in, I have to digest. I have to do what the unconscious thought cloud of the world bombards me with. I have to think those thoughts all day long.
    • On the gut brain, the reference in the video is incorrect. Instead, see “Think Twice: How the Gut’s ‘Second Brain’ Influences Mood and Wellbeing,” by Adam Hadhazy , 12 February 2010, “Scientific American,” http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/gut-second-brain/
    • My gut was creating this vision of a slave planet that I’ve created, and to which I’ve transported all my friends and relatives and a lot of strangers too, and caused their total destruction. That there’s no hope of escape, because ___ has stolen my Soul and damaged it to such an extent that it can’t be used.
      • Actually, on second glance, in November 2016, it seems to me that this vision may have to do with the social memory complex of the bacteria (Martian bacteria?) colonizing my gut. (2)
      • This social memory would no doubt be Martian-species-centric.
        • Suppose, for instance, that Martian bacteria set up ‘space stations’ in individual human bodies when Mars became uninhabitable.
        • Suppose they feel they have Souls and humans don’t (just as humans feel they have Souls and bacteria don’t).
        • That humans exist to serve them.
        • That we’re machines that have gone awry during the recently concluded Age of Darkness, exercising free will in ways that are detrimental to our physical functioning, and
        • That we are causing Martian genocide through our eliminative processes.
      • Surely there are a large contingent of helpful or biologically neutral bacteria in our bodies. Suppose there are ‘good’ Martian bacteria in our gut that are for a co-operative experience of reality … who believe, for instance, in a human-Martian coalition in which the ‘space station’ of the human body is run by committee, and Martian colonists (bacteria) be bioengineered to help the human body function properly, or bottomline, to coexist in it without harming it.
      • Suppose there are radical, warlike ‘bad’ Martian bacteria who believe humans exercising free will ought to be eliminated, and only docile, subservient humans ought to be kept alive. Oh gosh … could this radical contingent be bioengineering deadlier bacteria, for instance? Or  harmful viruses?
    • From the vision, I moved on to the Prayer of Saint Francis, to aligning my will with that of God, and allowing God to take care of everything. This led me to the following thoughts:
      • How am I to know the truth of this situation?
      • Perhaps I have no Soul.
      • Perhaps I’m wrong about everything.
      • Perhaps everything I’ve ever said or judged or done … every decision I’ve ever made … has been against the will of God.
      • Who am I know the right and wrong of this? I’m not God.
      • But even if I’m a faulty being that has no reflection as God consciousness, nevertheless, there’s a role for me in creation. God will know this role.
    • So I spoke to the voices in my gut, saying:
      • I will place my faith in God. I will let these people go that have been ill-influenced by my decisions that were not in alignment with that of the Creator of All, of God, of Source. I will let them all go. They will no longer be enslaved. (I thought thus to free them and to free up my own karma.)
      • Whatever it is that I am … this faulty servomechanism … this ego that forgets the true nature of reality … that forgets that God is All … whatever it is that I am, I align that with God, and I ask God, I ask Source to decide for me the disposition of that which I am.
      • Let the laws of this Universe be blended, as a flower blooms, with the laws of this particular, small part of all that is.
    • Then I reclined to rest, and felt beings of light all around me, making changes in my aura. They said: What can we do about all this? She has appealed to God and to the laws of this Universe. The best that we can do, is this: Since you stand as a celibate person without a group, and you believe only in God and in God’s will, we’re going to have to put you on your own, alternate world, by yourself. There’ll be no more sentient beings there. It’s just going to be you.
      • The control beings said: And you may not live till tomorrow. I said: God’s will!
      • They said: And you have no Soul, so you have no afterlife. I said: God’s will!
    • In retrospect, I feel these control beings were talking to my ego, not to my Soul. I gave up on all my preconceptions about how things are.
    • In this alternate world where I am right now, I Am that which is Gaia, as well as that which seems to be this human being. The history of Gaia is within this physical form and these energetic bodies that I am. I am that transport system, as is each of us that is a human being to experience God and everything that is close to God in the higher dimensions. I’m not so different from everyone else, but many people are just not there yet. They’re not at that place where they want to experience the world of all possibilities. They’re just not there. So in the meantime, I am safely on an alternate world where there are no sentient beings with whom I need interact, and where there is direct communication with Source.
    • I gather that these types of Dark Night of the Soul visions are a creative attempt to allow me to integrate the deep emotions of the unconscious mind and of the unconscious collective mind with the outpouring of the heart, so that humankind and I can impulse onward into the regenerative stage of this great planet, this great galaxy, and this great Universe.
    • The vividness, the depths of fear, the depths of not knowing-ness that we encounter, and what might be termed the dark night of the Soul episodes are the springboard from which we can leap into deeper faith and deeper co-creative ability, aligned with the will of God.
    • This is the Void of which many have spoken recently. The Void is the dark night of the Soul (1) and the moment of letting go, of surrender, that moment of not knowing-ness is the beginning of our mastery. It’s the tool with which we need to become familiar in order to achieve this co-creative skill.
    • The very first few times, it’s very scary. But as time goes on, as faith deepens, we can become adepts at this. I am certain of it. All humankind will do so.
    • Postscript 1: What seems like a terrible nightmare that ends in an unexpected way, a nightmare of subconscious energies … to me it seems like what’s really taking place is an upwelling of darkness, an upwelling of incomplete understanding of the way things are. This is an upwelling from the collective subconscious of humankind (and in this case, perhaps also the collective subconscious of our Martian colonists … the unconscious thought cloud of the world, which is somehow always connected with my own lower chakras.
    • So what is happening is a clearing, for all those that wish to be involved in this transformative process, but not a clearing for those that don’t wish to be.
    • There’s no element of control, or power over here, but merely a conscious bringing up of a bolus of very dark, deep, dense subconscious energies, which rises up the spinal column, through the heart chakra, through the indigo, and on up, where it is transformed to something totally different … not just for me, but also for all those other beings who are participating in the process and who wish for transformation.
    • And so, what appears to be a nightmare is really a process of sublimation, as it is termed in psychology … or we could term it ‘sublime-ation’, a changing into the superconscious mind, a total transformation.
    • Postscript 2: In the many years I used to work for a living, before my happy retirement, I undertook many, very varied jobs. The question, when you switch from one job to the next, is: How do you phrase your resume? How do you persuade your next employer that you have experience about something? From books about resume-writing, the thing that I learned is this: The thing that we carry forward from one job to the next job is, not so much the details or facts of the work that we do, but the set of skills that we acquire along the way. So every time I was job hunting, I would look at the skills I had acquired in past jobs, and then look at the notice for the new job I was interested in, to see if I had the skills that would be needed. If so, then I would submit a resume that included the skill sets that had been learned in each prior occupation. This was a very successful technique: By thinking of skills rather than the factual content of the jobs I had been doing.
    • So taking this technique into last night’s experience, I get that, in a situation of dark night of the Soul, the skill set being developed is that of letting go, and surrender, and faith in the unknown.
    • And how can we practice these skills except in the setting of a dark night of the Soul? Unless what we experience contradicts the very fundament of our faith? … the idea that we have a Soul … the idea that we live in a caring universe. When all those things are called in question, what still remains? That faith in God carries us through these experiences of death and near death, death of the ego, and so forth. Only that faith can do it.
    • So last night was a chance to practice my faith skill.
    • The other thing I learned, is that where the mental mind can’t resolve an issue, where it seems there is no way out, no way of creating agreement amongst peoples, that God always finds a way to allow free will to express itself. That God will always find a way. So that was the second thing: Not only that can I develop faith, but also that there will be a solution through God.
    • So in terms of the developing skill set, and the ongoing possibilities, I think last night was a wonderful success … a trying situation, a difficult day, and the outcome was really wonderful.


Today I listened to Judy Satori’s 27 May 2015 show “Beyond Healing” (5pm PT) on Bob Charles’ Pyramid One Network … replays available Judy Satori’s website  … Free … Beyond Healing: https://judysatori.com/free/beyond-healing-questions/

To my amazement, at the beginning of the show she mentioned that people have been messaging her about unexplained bouts of crying in the last few days. Also, she and her partner Lee have experienced the same. She says in the last few weeks we’ve been experiencing the energy of the Aldebaran Stargate, which is the energy of New Beginnings, of Soul clearing, and of unusual weather changes on Earth.

In love, light and joy,
I Am of the Stars


(1) Mystic scholar Mirabai Starr was also speaking on this topic in the May 2015 “Spring on Maui” retreat with Ram Dass and others. See “Dark Night of the Soul: St. John of the Cross,” by Mirabai Starr, at www.amazon.com

(2) For more on this, see “On Martian Bacteria: Good Martians and Bad Martians,” by Alice, https://iamofthestars.com/2016/11/21/on-martian-bacteria-good-martians-and-bad-martians-by-alice/ 


For information quieting the vital body, see “Chapter 6. Quieting the Vital,” in “Sri Aurobindo, or the Adventure of Consciousness,” http://www.aurobindo.ru/workings/satprem/adventure_of_consciousness_e.htm#019

For information on the four centers of consciousness, see “The Centers of Consciousness” in “Sri Aurobindo, or the Adventure of Consciousness,” http://www.aurobindo.ru/workings/satprem/adventure_of_consciousness_e.htm#014

These were referred to in the video:

Judy Satori’s activation of light “Clear Deep Seated Blocks to Love,”  http://judysatori.com/free/heart-opening/

Tom Kenyon’s mp3 “Bridge between the Worlds,” explained here: “The Fifth Perspective: Transcending Space and Time,” http://tomkenyon.com/the-fifth-perspective-transcending-space-and-time  The link for the mp3 is near the bottom of that webpage.



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dark night of the soul, ego, forgiveness, free will, Gaia, grief, heart clearing, letting go, power over, self-esteem, transformation, void, yoga,

blame, central vertical power line, co-creative power, darkness, faith, fear, feeling the heart, Gaia, God consciousness, God’s will, grief, heart chakra blocks, integration, judgment, Judy Satori, kundalini, nothingness, pranic energy, Quan Yin, sacred sexuality, sadness, sexual blame, sexual taboos, slave planet, societal expectations, speaking our truth, sublimation, Unknown, third chakra negative, Tom Kenyon, transformation, unconditional love, unconscious mind,

societal expectations, ego, judgment, ostracism, Mars, Martians, Martian bacteria, star brethren,

One thought on “Dark Night of the Soul … Slave Planet Blues! … by Alice B. Clagett

  1. Pingback: On Martian Bacteria: Good Martians and Bad Martians … by Alice .. | I Am of the Stars

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